A guide to help environmentalists choose their Hummer replacing poster child (w\poll)
I have always wondered what could possibly replace the Hummer if the brand was killed off. After all, the environmental lovers need a poster child to chase after. Good needs evil. Sure, being able to claim victory over the death of the Hummer brand will be awesome for these groups, but soon enough (6 months?) they will need to chase after a new poster child. I could come up with about 20 suggestions, but let's take a look at some of the more obvious ones....
UPDATE: 02/25/2010 01:46 PM: Looks like Hummer may go the way of Saab with 2 bidders now stepping up that were previously interested, but rejected. So, they sort of killed our buzz with this story, but we can think about it anyway. GM Looks at Two Hummer Offers.
Jeep Grand Cherokee. Biggest problem we have here is that the Jeep is fairly small in most cases. They also now make many non-trail rated vehicles. The Wrangler is quite capable off-road and the mileage is not horrible. The SRT-8 version of the Jeep Cherokee gets around 8 MPG but you never see one to flip off. Jeep should be safe but we had to consider them. Too many on the road as well.
Chevy Tahoe. Also the GMC Yukon, Cadillac Escalade and the Chevy Suburban. After all, the H2 was built on this platform, so it should be perfect on paper. You can expect in the 12-16 MPG range with them and they easily meet the huge requirement. The Z71 off-road model can be the hated of the hated. They are capable hauling machines as well. This one is perfect except for one problem. They sold a lot of them and continue to do so. This causes two problems. First, you’re picking on a segment that sells well and that audience might be more vocal about telling you to shut up. Second, and my main concern, is that the constant raising of your hand to flip them off could cause tennis elbow. Not a good choice, almost too easy.
Toyota Land Cruiser. The price tag can reach the high 60’s. Expect gas mileage in the 10-15 MPG range. Toyota is being bashed on pretty good right now, so this makes it an easy target. It’s also pretty ugly and a bit plain which counts against it as a poster child. Still, it has to be considered because Toyota is an easy target. Toss in that it does have off road capabilities and you have a winner.
Lincoln Navigator. An attractive, large SUV that you see on the road but not that much. Again, you are looking at about 60k loaded and fuel economy in the 12-16 MPG range. This may not be the best choice, but the Lincoln badging is as distinctive as the Cadillac, so it need to be considered for that reason alone.
Mercedes Benz GL. Now you’re heading into the 82k range and it even has a cut away front end giving it that off-road look to it. Since you can expect 10-15 MPG with it, it easily meets the gas guzzler requirement. You won’t see a ton of them on the road, so you should have time to extend your arm completely out the window before it approaches. Let’s not forget the G-Class (pictured). This pig gets about 9-13 MPG and makes the Hummer look downright sexy. It is silly square and as ugly as an old Land cruiser. Sticker prices go over 100,000. Problem is I don’t see enough of them. In my area, I see one every day and I think it’s the same guy.
Range Rover. My personal choice. This one has it all! First of all Range Rover is a respected off-road vehicle often called the British Hummer. A fairly large vehicle, they are not too hard to spot and can cost you in the 90,000 range. Even the H2 only topped out at around 72,000 for a special edition. You never see these off-road in the states and you hardly ever see them dirty. I think you have to wear a tie to drive one. They are owned by those mean, rich people who can plunk down 90k for a daily driver. I love them. I think this is a winner. The LR3, soon to be LR4 would be the equivalent of the current H3, confusing most greenies to flip off the wrong truck. Better yet, they can also accidentally target the even smaller LR2. This one is almost too easy and too perfect. Since I LOVE Range Rover and Land Rover, I suspect this is perfect choice for them.
Let us know your thoughts in the comment section, or take a minute to vote in the poll for your favorite choice!
UPDATE: 02/25/2010 01:46 PM: Looks like Hummer may go the way of Saab with 2 bidders now stepping up that were previously interested, but rejected. So, they sort of killed our buzz with this story, but we can think about it anyway. GM Looks at Two Hummer Offers.
Let us know your thoughts in the comment section, or take a minute to vote in the poll for your favorite choice!
