Best Ebay Auction Ever? 1994 PEUGEOT 306. Buy it or it gets abandoned
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Cheap chavy motor for sale. Would suite anyone with no shame, self respect, pride or dignity. Yep, another bastardised, chavved up bit of land fill if ever I've seen. Why do people do this huh? Is it to increase the cars looks, or performance? It can't be for real. I've never seen such a bit of shite in all my life, so far. But people do continue to amaze me no end. Oh how I love this job. Come and dispose of your shitty little cars with me and leave the hassle of disposing of it to someone else. How anyone could have the audacity to drive round in this I really don't know. Oh Gordon Brown, can we have the scrappage scheme back for just one day please!!! 2 grand for this excreted creation is a right result in my book. Wouldn't do your (hopelessly slim) hopes of re-election any harm would it? Now what am I supposed to do with it?? It really isn't a "retail" car by any stretch of the imagination, but hey ho, let's give it ago. I'm now going to tell you all the good things about the car. Pay attention and read this. Se below. That was it. There isn't ANYTHING good to say. period. It really is land fill, shrapnel, clunker, scrap, junk, a shed. Well it might make a good shed. Or maybe you could keep chickens in the damned thing, but that wouldn't be fair on the chickens really. Maybe a member of the armed forces would like to buy it, then practise shooting at it, or blowing it up, or running over it with a tank. I've seen better looking shopping trolleys dragged out of canals after years of being submerged, than this creature. I've even slept with better looking women. I think. Well if it doesn't attract any bids I'm going to leave it in Sainsbury's car park, Farnham, Surrey. With half a tank of fuel, and the door open, with the key in it. And a small selection of groceries to entice. Please help yourself. I'll park it by one of those 'humanitarian' clothes bins. You never know, some poor famine struck country might have a greater need for it than me. Think you'd be better off walking the 10 mile round trip for water everyday though. Channel 4. Do you need a vehicle as a background image or prop for your fantastic series "Shameless" if so, get in touch. I'm sure we can come to an arrangement. Lets feast our eyes for one moment on the pictures. Look at the bloody bonnet. Carbon Bloody Fibre. Is this some sort of joke? What the hell is it doing on here for crying out loud?? Is it to make the car a tad lighter in order to increase speed or performance? Only the man upstairs knows. I figure this, if Peugeot spent 5 years and £100 million quid in the development, design and testing of the 306 range, I can't help but think they'd of put this into the equation. Maybe they did, and then thought better of it. look at the bloody wheels. Just awful. Plain bloody awful. I've also taken a rather good picture of the 'in car entertainment' system. Now see the quality of this workmanship. Without doubt the speakers have been fitted by a quality craftsman, a man who takes great care and pride in his work. This is not some sort of amateur bodge job, as is plain to see. If the person who did this is reading, any chance you could come to my house and finish of a few little wood working jobs I've not got round to completing?? Also admire if you will the pathetic attempt to give it the M3 look by the addition of those horrendous mirrors. Man, what where you thinking huh? Next it'll be a stupid steering wheel and some "Lexus" style rear lights....Oh, hang on, it has. well that really is the personification of a Chav car then. Essex boys driving Corsa's, there is a new car in town.... Just about, no, in fact EVERY, panel on the car is damaged. first impressions suggest it had been caught in some biblical Meteorite shower, or maybe caught up in an Asteroid belt, but I've not been out much recently to notice, so it might be a possibility. You'd think that it would maybe better to plant something in it rather than attempt to tidy it out. Henry the Hoover will fill his little bag and blow his fuse if he saw inside this. I'd suggest a small fire would be a quicker way of tidying it up, but this may affect the wildlife inside. TAX. None. Well some, but the disc actually displayed appears to relate to a Suzuki moped. Only £35 for the year MOT. None. Although I'm assured that for the modest fee of £100 one can be procured from a Public House in Slough. MILEAGE. 179,000. Unbeliveably. How it managed to do that I have no idea. But I'm past caring. someone was brave. Or stupid. Or both. Service history. None. Who would honestly take this to any right minded, sane of mind mechanic and actually spend money on it? It just doesn't look like it has ever been washed, let alone serviced. The thing is not even fit to be described as spare or repair, it is that bad....I see it as more of a mobile barbeque, or a nice front lawn feature for the more salubrious parts of suburbia. One last thing. The long haired layabout in the picture? He owns the car. Bet you kinda figured that out yourselves. The car has to go because he needs to raise some cash for a new Slipknot t-shirt and a few more tattoo's. And some cat food for the cat he stole off a neighbour a few months back. Oh, sorry Matt, wasn't supposed to mention that was I ? |
Source: Best Ebay Auction Ever? 1994 PEUGEOT 306. Buy it or it gets abandoned
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