The US government announced today the creation of a "No-F*ck List" designed to prevent people whose potential to reproduce is deemed a threat to the future well-being of the country.


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Touted as a significant advance in counter-shitheadery, the list reportedly contains the names of over 12 million Americans with whom it will become a federal offense to have sexual intercourse with as of August 1st. Despite its staggering size, Department of Homeland Security Assistant Deputy Secretary Richard Harlan indicates that stringent criteria were applied in developing the No-F*ck List, such that those on it have "demonstrated a seemingly innate inability to conduct themselves in a way that doesn't make those around them sick". "If you have big, floppy man-tits or look like a meth-addicted zombie whore, you will be on the list," DHS spokeswoman Natalie Weeks said.

Source: US Government Introduces "No-F*ck List" [Off Topic]

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